It is all a game. A game we will lose. We need to admit that humanity has made a mistake and love does not exist. We feel it but only in a transient passage, it comes and then it fails. The best idea is not to get caught up in its tangled web when it appears. Admit it and all you really want to do
Admit it, all you really want to do is own the person. You want them to belong to you. They are a good, a commodity, something you want but like all wants it will be satiated the minute you get it, once you have it it will be gone and you will be left with guilt. Why then would you want to carry this guilt until the day you die? Why do you allow it to grow? You are not being true to yourself, do you honestly believe it will last?
It will never last. It never does. We are fed a romantic notion in order to sell us goods, keep us placated. You need to be an adult and have a loving family relationship. Do we need that? Do we need to hinge our happiness on another person? Marriage seems a doomed concept. Separate rooms, mortgage, and a feeling of constant of loathing, that is not loving. It is also not quite hate, it is a human made condition.